To all of you who are still waiting, still refusing to settle and holding out hope that he will show up.
Keep it up.
We spend so much time talking about bad relationships, when they are bad. And when they are great, the talk stops. Because there is nothing to report. You just are. Together. Happy. Fulfilled. Satisfied. Rewarded. Generously on all counts.
And it leaves very little to tell your friends when they ask, “How are you?”
The answer is short, “Perfect.”
So, I thought I would write about my man.
About the things that make a good man, a good husband and an amazing father. They are these:
1. He will never hurt you. Not even in the slightest. Seth has never, ever hurt my feelings or made me feel bad about myself or something I have done. He builds me up, makes me stronger and never breaks me down. He has never called me a name or raised his voice at me. Truly. And to those of you who think this may be abnormal, it’s not – I can assure you. Men should never call you names, berate you or make you feel bad about yourself. If they are, then why bother with them?
2. He loves you for who you are. Seth doesn’t want to change me. For the first time in my life, I am with a man who is 100% satisfied with me, myself and I. And he happens to think I am remarkable. Anyone you spend your life with should believe this about you. They should not be trying to change you or morph you into someone you are not.
3. He puts your relationship first by putting you first. Seth encourages me to be independent, follow my own hobbies, interests and passions. How does this impact our relationship? It has a profound effect on making me feel free and happy to do what I want, when I want without guilt. This is huge for us former single moms. For example, if I spontaneously get a call from a girlfriend to go shopping or want to go out for drinks – no big deal.
4. He is an amazing father. Seth is a stay at home dad, a choice we made together, and one he will write about soon. But he truly is an incredible father. More on his awesome, mad dad skills here.
5. He forgives you. Clearly there are some unforgivable things. My unforgivable things like cheating, lies or abuse. But most of the trials and tribulations between you, as a couple, are forgivable and should be. A good man knows how to forgive, drop it and not harbor resentment toward you for messing up.
I take all of this for granted in assuming you all know what qualities good men have. But, how would you if you have only had bad relationships in the past? I know I didn’t have a fair litmus after my ex-husband. I thought articulating, or attempting to articulate what makes a good man in tangible terms you can apply to your own life may help in some way.
Hang in there. He will come. You owe him to yourself.
For those of you who are happily re-married, what do you love about your men? What is the mark of a great man and a great relationship? I know everyone is different, but I do believe many things are universal, such as, love, trust, adoration and commitment.
Please leave a comment, I want to know what you think!